BUT WHERE’S TOM?
It’s Wednesday AND it’s raining! Tomorrow will be Thursday AND the gurus at weather.com say it will be raining. Gearing up to ride the new bike to the shop for the 600 mile service. I’m hoping to taunt the rain gods with this act of riding. May rev the new engine (just a little within that 1/2 throttle range of course) and ride up and down the street a couple times with my tongue sticking out. Then perhaps I’ll wash the car just for good measure. I am trying, of course, to provoke the clouds. Get them to open up and really dump on us now so there’s nothing left for the weekend.
Time to pack. Toothbrush…check. Clean pair of socks…..check. New MAD maps to ogle over and plan future motorcycle rides…..check. Tissue to wipe drool off those maps…..check. Ok. I’m ready. Let’s roll. Off to Boston Market to meet Phil for the ride to Williams. We really expected to find Tom there but…….
BUT WHERE’S TOM?
The ride began with a slight but blatant disrespect for the suggested speed limits as we rolled up I-5 to meet The Don at the designated Carl’s Junior for the pre-ride meal. For future reference, that leg takes about 1 hour when traveling at 80 mph. Don’s ride-in originated from Stockton so he had to get up a little earlier and ride a bit further but he’s tough so it was probably more of a little morning jaunt for him. Note: It’s a little chilly in the mornings when you’re creating an 80 mph head wind so the thermals were a good idea. Found myself oddly at peace with the thought that lots of poor helpless little thermals were sacrificed in order to make the undergarments that were keeping me warm.
After eating, fueling and making annoying prank phone calls to other riders we were missing, the three of us mounted up and the journey began.
HIGHWAY 20 AND WILLITS
Phil blazed a trail west on Highway 20 with me and Booger (?) in hot pursuit and Don riding tail gunner. Smooth sailing along mostly two-lane highway with plenty of passing lanes. Riding Highway 20 along the shoreline of Clearlake is always beautiful but chilly. Again, grateful thanks to the thermals who gave their lives that I might be comfortable. That’s one huge lake! Some day we should ride around that thing to check out the other side. We stopped at a gas station/convenience store there to stretch legs, etc. and discovered a pay toilet! Once again the wild biker side got the best of us as we entered the lavatory through the door that had been left open by the former occupant and utilized the facilities for free! Such renegades! They should charge for the toilet paper. Now there’s a money maker. It was at this stop that we met a friendly pair of riders on dirt bikes. You always meet the nicest people on motorcycles. It was also at this stop where a woman on a Harley stopped to admire my new bike and flirt a bit with me. Sorry baby….metrics rule and Harley’s drool. Except for Ruby! I know a Harley named Ruby and I’m really quite fond of her. She’s well worth a separate set of tools.
Our next stop was in Willits for gasoline, more leg stretching and snacks to tide us over until lunch. It was outside this gas station where two little chickies were hanging around the Triumphs. Booger was parked maybe 30’ away by himself. When the three of us exited the building, the girls were looking the guys over and began to chat them up. Another guy stopped by too to ask for advice regarding Ducati versus Triumph. Gee…guess what Phil told him. More interesting people. While mulling around at this stop, Don came up with the idea to skip the next leg of 101 since we had already ridden that road during our assault on the area last September and head to Fort Bragg instead. Some joint head nodding by both Phil and I ensued and it was settled.
OFF TO FORT BRAGG FOR LUNCH
Highway 20 to Fort Bragg. Two very curvy, twisty, tree-lined lanes through hilly rural areas until you reach the coast. It was somewhere during this leg of the journey that I decided I might want to move to Fort Bragg and work in Willits so I could make this commute 5 times a week. The only way to make that plan any sweeter would be to establish a courier service between the two towns so I could actually be paid to make that fabulous ride back and forth. That road is nice in a car. It’s 100 times better on a bike. I knew it would be. So glad we made this route change.
It was also along this stretch of road where Don encountered the jerk in the SUV that had to crowd around him and insert his stupid ass between the motorcycles for who knows what earthly reason. There were a number of slower vehicles ahead of us, no one was going anywhere very fast and there was no where for him to go once he cut around Don and slid in behind me but it seemed like something he just needed to do. Being an experienced rider, Don was aware of what was happening and was able to keep himself out of the way. It’s good to remember that this guy is out there…..everywhere! He drives different vehicles from time to time but no matter where you go, you’ll find him along the way. Watch out.
Once we hit Fort Bragg, the bikes were locked in on an establishment called “The Restaurant” but it turns out they don’t do lunch. They’re more of a dinner time type of folk. I was disappointed when I learned I wasn’t going to be consuming the grilled polenta I had been fantasizing about since leaving Willits but was consoled by the extraordinarily delicious Eggs Benedict prepared by Egg Head’s which was only a block away from the lucky parking space we found and didn’t want to give up. Very cute little establishment with a Wizard of Oz theme going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah……..as Munchkins Don and I were right at home. If you want to use their bathroom, you follow the yellow brick road that leads you right through the kitchen, out the back door and across a dirt lot to a little wooden outhouse type affair. Now there’s a bathroom with character. And funnies tacked on the walls so you can snicker and leak at the same time. Probably not such a good idea to be reading the walls at a time when aim is imperative.
I found myself wishing that Fort Bragg had been our destination and decided to ride on over again some time later for lunch. It’s not a bad ride at all. Would be nice to grab some lunch, take a walk through the botanical gardens, hang out at the docks for a bit to see all the boats and talk with the locals and then watch the sun go down while resting on Glass Beach. There’s a real nice bed and breakfast on Main Street in an old historical building. If I remember correctly it’s called the Grey Whale Inn. Fort Bragg is a beautiful little coastal town with plenty of restaurants, nice places to stay, fishing, horseback riding, wine tasting and all the usual tourist activities.
COASTAL HIGHWAY 1 AND SOME REALLY BIG TREES
Fully fortified and relaxed, we began to feel the initial pangs of “are we there yet syndrome.” After gearing up, we followed the curvy coastline up Highway 1 with a couple stops so the official ride photographer (aka Phil) could snap some of the beauty to take with us. Thanks Phil. Highway 1 is a beautiful two lane road along the hillsides that slope down to the ocean. Some nice curves in that road.
Dragged the right side of the new Boulevard around one of those corners. Was following along behind Phil who takes those type of corners much the same way I do. We both tend to engine brake before the corner so the person behind us isn’t likely to see brake lights unless we find something unexpected or need to slow to safely maintain our following distance. As we approached a blind right hand corner, Phil’s brake light came on ahead of me. Knowing that is not usual for him, figuring he could see something around that corner that I couldn’t see yet and wanting to slow to maintain my distance so I wouldn’t run over the top of him when I next caught sight of him, I hit my brakes as well. Around the corner we flew…too fast….tight corner….cliff on the left…..mountain on the right….brakes-way bad idea!!!!....so I pushed the Boulevard down to the right and we got a little too close and personal with the pavement. The right foot peg folded up on me and we scraped up this really neat flat chrome piece that seems to have been made just for this purpose. No harm. No foul. Just fun and it was nice to initiate the right underside somewhere as pretty as Highway 1. It wasn’t a high speed corner by any means and it wasn’t really scary at all except that I hit the pavement much sooner than I anticipated based on my experience with the Pig. Piglet has more clearance so I’ll have to adjust a bit on the Boulevard. I’m comfortable with more lean than the bike is capable of. These are the things we learn about our new bikes.
After the sunshine and salt air of the coastal ride, we descended into the cool shade of the redwoods. I think it was approximately 18 to 22 miles of very twisty roads through the giant trees with only little points of light penetrating the dense forest here and there to light our way. Feeling sorry for the poor little blind girl riding behind him, Phil pulled over along the way so I could change out my face shield. The mirrored face shield is great on the sunny roads but it’s a bit like riding at night when you’re in the shade of the redwoods with your sun glasses on underneath. Remember to pack a clear face shield unless you particularly want to ride blind through the redwood forest for some reason, in which case, you could just as well shut your eyes. Also because of the dark, it’s a good idea to use your high beams. That made it much easier for Phil to keep track of us behind him as we were much more visible that way.
CHIPALOPES?
Oops. Wrong place. No Gnome but they had Chipalopes and a very friendly giant panda bear at Confusion Hill where we stopped to stretch and goof off. The search for the giant Gnome met with success a short distance farther down the road.
After eight months of waiting, another rained out attempt and a moment of proud defiance as we passed the sign that said “SCRAM” we were finally there standing at the very feet of THE giant Gnome. Check out the look on his face Deuce. He was obviously displeased by your conspicuous absence. Instead of presenting our group complete with a rather tall specimen of the human species (that would be you), we marched up with two shorties and a Phil. Still, the quest had been realized. With a feeling of great accomplishment we gathered at the base of the statue while a German tourist captured a picture to immortalize the moment.
By now we were exerting some real effort to ward off the full onset of the “are we there yet syndrome.” Another stop in Garberville was required for gas at which point we decided to skip the Avenue of the Giants. We had already swished through a beautiful stretch of redwoods on our way in from the coast and we already rode the Avenue during our first trek through these parts so we just hopped on Highway 101 and rolled straight through to Fortuna.
Upon reaching our planned overnight destination at the Comfort Inn in Fortuna, we checked in and figured out the room assignments. In a perfect world we would have had rooms figured out well in advance of our arrival but what fun would that be? As it turned out we had three rooms and three people which didn’t seem to make much sense so I gave up my reservation and moved in with Don. Because I’ve learned you never really know where you’re sleeping on these rides until you actually hit the bed, I came prepared with ear plugs. As Paul says, “Don’s snoring is legendary.” Phil agreed to be my back-up plan in the event that the ear plugs should be rendered useless by excessive decibels. Those things are only strong enough to drown out Harley after-market pipes, chains saws and really loud stuff like that. They’re no match for Don’s snoring on a good night.
VICTORIAN FERNDALE
The sun wasn’t down yet and there was still daylight to burn so while Don got settled in and enjoyed a nice warm shower, Phil and I set out to explore the Victorian village of Ferndale which was a close 12 miles away. Cute little burb. It’s now on my list of places to revisit when I have more time to stroll, grab lunch and look around a bit. This town is either incredibly sheltered and naive or they have a tremendous group sense of humor. As you’re entering town there is a giant sign for KHUM radio on the side of the Creamery Building. Phil wasn’t as amused as I was. Perhaps it’s my totally warped sense of humor but I still find that sign hilarious.
DINNER AND ENTERTAINMENT!
Back to the Comfort Inn and off to dinner at the Eel River Brewing Company where Phil and I both chose the prime rib and Don enjoyed the fish and chips. And as if that wasn’t enough, I found room for the cherry crisp dessert. Dang that was good. I wouldn’t share the cherry crisp or the whipped cream but I did share the vanilla ice cream so the guys can’t claim I was a total pig. The food is still good at this place and the fact that it’s walking distance from the hotel is a real bonus.
Not that the guys were complaining but the restaurant was pretty noisy while we were there. We caught the tail end of a bachelorette party. And if you think that sounds fun…wait…it gets better. These weren’t mere mortal women. This group of women was comprised of professional dancers. Seems one of their own was getting hitched and they were going to do this thing up right. Professional dancers (yeah, we’re talking about those kind of dancers!) partying with the girls, drinking and having one heck of a time. The place was a virtual gold mine for some lucky plastic surgeon as not a one of those girls was sporting anything less than a full D cup. Phil and Don appeared happily stunned. I was merely left feeling inadequate while apologetically hunching forward to conceal my own smallish breasts. If pictures had been allowed, Phil would have walked back to the hotel for his camera. Even a camera phone would have worked but it would have been in bad taste. It’s one of those things you had to be there for. What happens on the ride, stays on the ride.
Tired and full but not ready to sleep, we resorted to prank phone calls once again. Sorry Deuce. Probably wasn’t a good idea to give us your home number, cell number, work number, etc. Hell, we would have called your mother’s number too if we had it. We called to check in with Pdub who thought Tom was with us. Nope. When Paul asked who was with us, Don replied that there was an even dozen riders with us. Paul didn’t believe that lie so I gave him a more believable lie and said there were seven of us. Hence the misinformation he was intentionally given and unwittingly included in his mid-ride report. Sorry Paul. We were in a mood, needed to torment someone and Deuce wouldn’t answer the dang phone! Thanks for being there for us.
We were just poised and ready to dial Tom’s number when the hotel room phone rang and we found Tom there on the other end of the line. We found that to be pretty funny. It was even funnier when we discovered he was calling us from the hotel lobby. Seems he just couldn’t bear the thought of missing out on Highway 36 and it bothered him enough that he finally gave up, hopped on the FJR at 3:30 and did the Lone Ranger ride up to join us. Those who know our good buddy Tom will not be the least bit surprised by this feat. We were happy he joined us, found him a place to sleep, walked to the convenience store to get him fed, picked up a beer for Phil and then settled in for the evening.
HEY PHIL, TELL ME THAT’S NOT RAIN!
Morning found us once again looking out the hotel windows at a menacing cloud cover and a parking lot full of puddles. Oh boy! Puddle jumping on the Booger! Don was already out there drying the bikes off. That was a calm and obviously optimistic gesture that paid off well since we made it out of there without anything more than a layer of drizzle and fog coating us. After the continental breakfast (bagels, toast, hot and cold cereals, juice, coffee, muffins, waffles and whatever else I may have missed-oink oink!) we were on the bikes and heading west on Highway 36 toward Red Bluff smiling and four strong.
HIGHWAY 36-ROAD NARROWS!
If you suffer with a small gas tank like I do, you’ll need to gas up in Fortuna before you take off on Highway 36. The first stop for gas will be just about 100 miles away in Platina.
So much talk from the locals and other riders about how curvy 36 is. Scary talk from the locals about how crazy it is to ride those roads because it is a rural area and the local folks bomb around those corners, taking the whole corner, in big trucks and/or farm equipment. Seemed pretty nice and easy going at first. No sweat. Nice pastures. Little houses. Itty bitty towns with populations of 12 or 35. Platina boasted a population of 60! They’re the big city out there. Heck, they have food and gas even. One little gas pump out front but that’s all I needed.
As we rode along on Highway 36 the road became a little more curvy and then I saw the first sign that read “Road Narrows” just as I spotted the first SUV speeding around a corner towards us. Typical encounter with an SUV on a back winding road. No sweat. And then in spots the road REALLY did narrow. It became one lane….around tight blind corners……with no lines in the middle to let oncoming traffic know they’re on my side! At the first corner like this, Tom was riding in front of me and he seemed to be a bit too far out there. I was actually wondering if he thought the whole road was ours when a car came around the corner towards us and straightened out any possibility of that mistaken notion immediately! Single-lane, tight, winding turns and here they come! Truck. Bigger truck. Oooo oooo big construction truck. Oh dear…tow truck pulling yet another big truck. Yep. There’s big trucks and trucks pulling trucks on this road and they don’t go slow. Good thing we’re small on the bikes and able to stay pretty much out of the way. No way would I have wanted to be taking those corners in a car. Way too big a target.
The dark, tight, single lane curvy parts were in the shade of the trees and it got cold enough that I welcomed the first stop as an opportunity to warm up and installed my rain pants just to add another layer of warmth. Interesting how we went for a ride in what was supposed to be really hot weather, yet more than half of the time we were fully bundled including thermals. That’s when you know you’re really covering some ground. If you have to dress for three different climate ranges, you know you’re doing it right.
After we left the trees, the landscape turned to beautiful green tree covered hills and valleys with spacious two lane curves for us. A welcome change.
THE BIG TOWN OF PLATINA HAS GAS
After weaving through the hills, crossing countless bridges and stopping for pictures here and there, we made it to Platina where we decided to grab some lunch. The little restaurant/gas station in Platina has an old west sort of feel. They serve burgers, sandwiches, fries, chips and the like. The waitress liked Don better than she liked us {NOT true :Don}. She fed him first {true, because I had the leftover biscuits and gravy from breakfast :Don} and then cooked for us I think. While we were outside enjoying our cheeseburgers, one of the plentiful sport bike riders asked who belonged to the Daytona. I thought he was going to chat with Phil about the bike like most guys do but noooooooooo. He pointed out the rear flat tire instead! Luckily we were in the BIG town of Platina and they had an air pump. Phil vetoed the idea of using the can of Flat Fix since we couldn’t find a source for the leak and he thought it might just be something slow. He aired up the tire and we hot footed it towards Red Bluff stopping to check the tire a couple of times along the way.
More air at Red Bluff and stripping off layers of clothing since it was now sweltering hot and then down Highway 5 toward home at 80 mph.
Our next air stop was in Maxwell where I was buzzed by an antique or replica plane that flew right over the top of me. That was a strange sensation! All of a sudden I was surrounded by Harleys! A whole pack of em! Where did they come from? I didn’t see them behind me a second ago. I can’t see them now? Where the hell are they? Which way do I go to get the heck out of the way? And then the noise passed far enough to my right that I could see it was a crop dusting plane. Very interesting couple of seconds there. The plane was flying little hoopdy dos and figure eights over the field to the north while we got something to drink and got more air. It was our own private little air show.
Back out to play in traffic. Three of us continued toward Highway 80 while Don waved us off to continue on I-5 back to Stockton. The three of us Sacto riders made one more gas/air stop on Truxel Road and then Phil got himself home before the tire could completely give out on him. Tom and I took ourselves to Whole Foods where we sat out front to people watch and slurp on nice cold fruit smoothies. We left Sacramento when it was chilly and people were wearing warm clothing. Upon our return, we were greeted by summer shorts, little skirts and flip flops. Tom and I are thinking summer is officially here now. It sneaked in while we were off exploring our world.
I was back to the cave by 7 o’clock on Sunday night having covered 629 miles by my speedo. Checked in with everyone else to let them know I was where I belonged. Heard back from Don that he was in safe, had enjoyed a couple cheeseburgers for dinner and then had a leisurely soak in a nice hot tub. Most excellent plan.
You’ve heard the saying “Those who play must pay?” Well, let me tell you, Sunday night it was time to pay. I was so tired the energy to merely keep my eyes open was overwhelming and I still had to cram a whole weekend’s worth of work into that single evening to catch up for the time I missed while roaring over the roadways of Northern California with the Rats and my new bike. Was it worth it? You bet your sweet rat’s ass it was!!!!
Thanks guys for another great ride! Don, you’re the best. Thanks for sharing your knowledge of routes and such. Glad you suggested the detour to Fort Bragg. Phil, thanks for leading us across all those new roadways, sharing your room and taking the pictures. Sorry about the tire. And Tom, sure glad you’re eccentric enough to ride up alone to join us. Nice surprise. It was great that you made Highway 36 with us.
See ya all next time. .__ :-)
Las
Suzuki 650 Savage - Piglet
Suzuki 800 Boulevard S50 - Booger (?)
May 21 - 22, 2005